Stories
Joanne & Andrew and the Kognaasowin Program
Kognaasowin, an Ojibway word meaning, "Raising our Children in a Healthy Way" is the name of a parent support program run by Native Child and Family Services of Toronto (NCFST).
Kognaasowin parent groups discuss standard topics such as nutrition, how to recognize abuse and where to get help, stress and time management, and infant/toddler development. Yet it is the culture-based approach that makes Kognaasowin effective for parents like Andrew, a 27-year-old Tsawataineuk father of two children: 18-month-old Joanne and 10-year-old Cameron.
Andrew trusts his daughter's assessment of the program: "That smile on her face when she walks in. It's the feeling she gets here; the energy inside these walls, even though this is a white-man constructed building."
Inside those NCFST/Kognaasowin walls, Native parents find staff with the necessary knowledge to respond to their particular challenges. Alita Sauve, the program coordinator says, "We must address the fact that many First Nations people haven't had the opportunity to understand family life. How do you understand what a mother is when you have lived in 20 different foster homes?"
Andrew concurs. "I come for guidance. I didn't have that as a child." Growing up amidst drug and alcohol abuse, he saw a need for change. At 25, Andrew met 8 year-old Cameron and his mother, Sonia. Sonia introduced Andrew to the programs at NCFST. Because of his flexible schedule as a jeweler, Andrew is able to attend the Kognaasowin program with the children while Sonia is at work.
Now sober for almost three years, Andrew cites the arrival of baby Joanne as a great source of encouragement in his resolve to seek out a healthier life. "It was night and day. I was so morbid. I thought nothing could hurt me. I have been hit by cars and buses; now I don't want to run across the street. I'm not compromising anybody's safety."
Fatherhood further sparked a desire in Andrew to seek out culture-based knowledge. Sauve gives an example of how this type of knowledge is relayed in the program: "We talk about nutrition. Mainstream programs will talk about scientific things. We will too, but we also talk about what food is to First Nations people. Food is medicine. It feeds the body, but also the emotions, mind and spirit. For this reason, even the way food is prepared is important. It counts in how children are receiving their nurturing."
Each Kognaasowin session opens with a smudge of sweetgrass or sage, and prayers of gratitude to all of creation. According to Andrew, this makes for a positive environment not just complaining.
Thankfulness is in keeping with the way that Andrew now approaches life. He states: "As a kid growing up, I was ashamed. So I put on a tough facade. Now I welcome any face that smiles. The baby has given me a chance to interact with society."
He concludes: "One of the primary reasons children are here is because they makes us better people." In keeping with the meaning of Kognaasowin, this demonstrates a healthy attitude for a father committed to raising his children in a healthy way.
Boris & Connie and the Ninoshe Program
Of mixed Inuit, Anglo-American and Serb ancestry, Boris is a radiant five year old. Perhaps this relates to one way that his mother, Connie, has interpreted his severe autism. Connie has been researching a forsaken tradition from his father's native Serbia: that of understanding the autistic to be "holy."
"People in the past wouldn't let anybody harm them," says Connie, "They thought they were in direct contact with God."
Boris often appears to be in his own world, manifesting the "sweet and innocent" characteristics that his mother has noted in autistic children. In stormier times, Boris can be a handful for his caregivers, exhibiting aggressive behaviour such as head butting. "He becomes abusive towards himself and others," his mother reports.
Through the years, Connie has developed creative ways of calming her son. "Sometimes I order an enormous pizza, double cheese," she explains. "Or we just ride around in a taxi until he calms down." She takes these measures to avoid the more intrusive approach of the hospital, where they will simply "load him up on chlorohydrate." A follower of both western and traditional Native medical practices, Connie works hard to avoid drugs that make Boris "like a zombie."
These creative solutions are the result a three-year journey on the part of both Boris and Connie. After his birth, Boris' father left, and Connie struggled with anxiety attacks and what she now labels bad habits: booze and crummy boyfriends.
When Boris was 18 months old, crisis made the match between Connie and a Native Child and Family Services of Toronto (NCFST) Ninoshe (Ojibway auntie), named Norma. NCFST Ninoshe workers provide support to families in the same way that "aunties" fulfil a supporting role in traditional Native societies.
"Norma behaves like a mother," says Connie, who never knew her own. "She has standards she wants in a person, and she tells you what she thinks you should do."
Connie admits that a person in crisis does not always welcome this type of direction. Yet Norma's persistence along with Connie's love for Boris have produced results. Connie no longer drinks or smokes, and has moved on from bad relationships. "What Norma did was get me into good shape so I could go out there and fight for the services Boris needs," says Connie. As for Boris, "He looks aloof," says Connie, "but he knows Norma and he will listen to her."
Connie attributes Norma for bringing her out of denial about Boris' condition. Norma immediately recognized that Boris had special needs. "She was really up on me to take charge; to make the appointments and get Boris assessed so that he could get whatever programming was available."
Boris now has a life of his own. He attends school and has regular outings with an attendant. Leaving Boris was, at first, difficult for Connie: "I knew how frail he was and I didn't want him out where people wouldn't take care of him," she says. At such times, Norma was there to sit with Connie. "Norma knew how hard it was to separate, but we do have to separate. He has to be independent."
Connie continues to "fight like a tiger" every day as an advocate for Boris. He requires many more services, but he is definitely on his way. Connie concludes: "Boris wouldnít be so far if it werenít for NCFST. We would be sort of hanging around the apartment driving each other crazy. They got us out into the world. Both of us."
Sarah & Marlene and Aboriginal Headstart
"This is me and my mom," says Sarah, proudly pointing at a snapshot in the family album. She carefully explains the next picture, in which she is dressed as a cowgirl, before buzzing off to play in her room. She re-emerges, having decided to show her special space. Sarah then gives a guided tour, chatting about the animated blanket over the window and the row of matchbox cars by her bed.
It seems incredible that five-year-old Sarah has been speaking for only one year.
Part of this progress is due to Sarah's participation in the local Headstart program. Headstart is designed to give high risk children aged 2 to 6 years the extra support they need to get a "head start" in life. The intent is to look after the disadvantaged pre-schooler's needs in a holistic way, by overseeing their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual development.
Like many pre-school programs, Headstart works on cognitive development through educational activities, crafts and outings. Yet it further ensures proper physical development through a breakfast and lunch program, and regular physical check-ins. Many classroom teachings stem from a Native cultural/spiritual base, and the children are encouraged to express themselves through regular talking circles. According to Sarah's mother Marlene, Headstart gives the child a chance to be heard and seen.
"Before Sarah got involved with the program, she would not interact with other kids her own age," says Marlene. "She would not understand when you were explaining something."
Sarah was very cautious at first, taking a few months to find her comfort level in the classroom. Now she enjoys going to Headstart, her favorite activities being playing at the sensory table and making crafts.
"Sarah has been through a lot in five years," her mother explains. "She was two pounds at birth. A lot of her internal organs were not fully developed, which affected her capacity to think."
In fact, Sarah began life with a hole in her heart, and during the past year has had operations on her ears and teeth, in addition to dealing with asthma. When she was two years old, Sarah and her mother had to leave their home community for the sake of personal safety, and her mother has recently been through the stress of a custody battle. Now Sarah lives in what her mother calls a ìsafe environment:. "There are no drugs, no alcohol, and as a parent I go for support to the staff at the Headstart site when I need it," she says.
A safe environment is promoted through Headstart, where dislosures of abuse or trouble at home are listened to and treated with care. Children learn about "good touching" and "bad touching" through activities such as holding hands in the circle. Meanwhile, parents are matched up with support services, including addiction programs, women's shelters, and counselling.
Sarah has been well served by the extra attention she gets from Headstart. She was enrolled in junior kindergarten last year, but the ratio of one teacher for 22 children necessitated extra support for Sarah elsewhere. Her mother hopes that the Headstart ratios of three staff for 16 children, along with the extra class hours, will give her duaghter the head start she needs to enter the regular stream classrooms of the school system.
Marlene is grateful for the help that both she and Sarah have received from the program, and now she wishes to give something back. She does so through active participation in Headstart committees at both the local and the provincial level. She laughs, "Last year I even did my own event teaching line dancing to the parents." Marlene intends to use her college training in social services to start a support group for parents this year, and will work hard to get other parents to be active participants in the program.
Sarah, meanwhile, is blissfully unaware of all the work behind the scenes of her head start. She is too busy managing the conversation between her dolls, and dreaming up scenarios for her matchbox cars.
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